Thursday, October 30, 2008

:before:

I have this great New Yorker cartoon in my journal. The picture is of a man and a woman lying in a park - the man is saying to the woman:

“Your poems are dark and sinister, but with pretty pictures of a kitten rolling a ball of yarn they might just capture a wider audience.”

***

Anyway, I haven’t posted a poem for a while - here is a newish one. I’m not sure it’s ‘done’ yet, but I’ll post it anyway and you can tell me what you think:

BEFORE THE DEPARTURE

You hide under my skirt,
though I try to shoo you.
Face pressed against my thigh,
hands sliding up to find
the flesh that pillows
over the top of my tights.

In every house we visit,
there is a monster
on the wall. You roar
at shadows, You hide
under me, egg to chook.

Years now, small hot hands
on my body. I’m stooped
from lifting. My hip
cocked sideways, a seat.

Your brother, eight, touches
more cautiously. Waits
for farewell, greeting or injury.
I can’t remember when he
decided my body was not his.
He is harder to hold, all
angle and gangle and bone.

Today though, you own me.
I sit at the kitchen table trying
to write this and you are
leaned across my back, you
tug the elastic bands from
my hair, breathe warm milk breath
into my ear. Small hot hands
rest easily around my throat.

Lovely, Helen! I’m not sure about the last line though… seems a bit weighted? I love the stooped from lifting and the hips cocked sideways, a seat. It kind of makes me sad that they grow out of wanting to put their hands all over you. My sons nearly two and has no shame about burying his face in my crotch when he’s feeling shy.

Anyway, you capture that coming separation nicely.

Resonates with me! Sometimes I want the little hands to just stop. Maybe 6 years of the constancy of little ones does that. It will be said when it stops though but i think I’ve got quite a few years of it yet

Yeah - that’s how I feel, too - both sad and relieved all mixed up together.

Thanks guys, for your nice comments, and Rachael - yeah - the last line is a maybe little Plath-ian.

Sonny, sonny, I’m through, etc.

Those hands will be around your neck forever and I love the last line! (Take out “and gangle” though - too cutesy, too rhyme-y, don’t need it). The poem is gorgeous, and truthful, and has a strong emotional centre. Perfect for motherhood, that mix of emotion too. Well, at least I think so!

Ha! As per any good, lively workshop opinions are divided!

Thanks, Tania, I appreciate your thoughts.

Good luck for your gig this week! (Or has it already been...hmn...)

x Helen

Yes, gig done and dusted on Tues night. It went well. I sold all eleven of the mini chapbooks I sewed up myself (complete with dangly jewel-ly junky bits for “bookmarks” etc) so it was nice to come home with more cash than I went with too. Not that it’s about money (they were a fiver, each) but that whole self-worth thing. And it was fun as well. I was also relieved when it was over but that’s just because life is so busy and I love ticking things off the list! T x

I know exactly what you mean...I do WANT to read my stuff aloud, but it scares the crap outta me and I’m always happier to have DONE it than to DO it!

Let me know next time you make chap books and I’ll buy one!

x Helen

Actually I’m doing another reading next week (Friday) up at Matakana so I am going to make some more wee books. You can have a complimentary (for being so lovely and interested, haha) but you might need to send me your snail mail address because I don’t think I have it written in my latest diary and I’ve put the old ones away somewhere safe (ie I can’t find them, yet). Signs of dementia, I know, but dementia has to be good for the writing, eh? At least up to a point… T x

I just wanted to say that I appreciate both the Plathy last line and the gangle! I especially love, angle and gangle and bone. Such a pleasing array of sounds to me!

I like it.

Heee! Love it I liked angle gangle and the sing-songness reflected the child iykwim. The last line was a bit Plathy, true but Plathy. But then Path was a friken clever chook wasn’t she?

Egg to chook indeed.
I enjoyed this tremendously, you should share more.

I know exactly what you mean...I do WANT to read my stuff aloud, but it scares the crap outta me and I’m always happier to have DONE it than to DO it!

I just wanted to say that I appreciate both the Plathy last line and the gangle!

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